<i>BrewingTechniques</i>
Holiday Humor

The Moenbrau
Holiday Gift Book Guide 1997

As compiled by Alan Moen.

Winter. It is the season of strong ales, the bastion of barley wine. Like unwelcome memories, darkness and cold have made their bold return to confront us denizens of the Northern Hemisphere. Back are the Sorels, the Gore-Tex, and the Thinsulate vestments. Barely remembered are summer's mininum attire and the proverbial loaf of bread, bomber of beer, and Thou, relaxing beside me in my hop-draped backyard wilderness. My backyard wilderness is now draped with a foot of snow, and its crop of hops is tucked away in the frozen splendor of my Frigidaire.

Not to worry: The holidays provide us a fine annual harvest of beer and brewing literature. It is now time to warm up with the ideal brewer's companion for the holidays: a selected volume from the first annual Moenbrau Holiday Gift Book Guide. After careful research involving many different draughts (and a few written versions as well), I present the following list for the reader's consideration. They may never stuff a stocking (good luck finding one of these titles in a bookstore or homebrew shop), but they will offer a timely literary and libationary refuge from the seasonal chill -- a winter warmer or two for those of us who will never be designated drivers.

Beer of Flying
A former airline pilot launches the first airborne brewpub.
Stout Dishing in America
The compleat guide to cooking with dark beers.
A Time to Chill
A heat-exchanger salesman encounters a sinister plot to "freeze out" small craft breweries in North America.

Bock Draught
The harrowing story of Munich firefighters who combat conflagrations in breweries.

The Beery Pranksters
The adventures of a group of zany Oregon beer writers on a world tour of pubs and breweries.
When Worts Collide
A lager from St. Louis engages in a memorable contest of strength with a New England "aler."
Cape Beer
A freighter with a cargo of lager is shipwrecked off the African coast.

The Hunt for Red Oktoberfest
A research team in Russia's Ural Mountains discovers the true origins of Bavarian beer.

Planet of the Grapes
Astronauts discover a new world of (literally) wine-dark seas.
An Ale of Two Cities
A Northwest brewery expands to a facility in another town and experiences difficulties with head retention.
The Fining
The horrific account of mutant microbes from sturgeon swim bladders that threaten to destroy all life on Earth.
Two Beers Before the Blast
The memoirs of a rural tavern owner in southwest Washington before the eruption of Mt. St. Helens.

To those who would use this list, it is well to remember one caveat: Teach a man to read rather than to save money, and he will waste a great gain; teach him to brew, and he will gain a great waist.

For more of Alan's work -- including his incisive editorials on craft brewing and his Moenbrau cartoons, both regular features of BrewingTechniques -- check out his web page at http://www.RealBeer.com/rbp/authors/moen/.

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